I have been wrestling with myself about writing this article for months. This past year challenged me in ways that were unexpected, sad, stressful, and seemingly unending. I consider myself to be a uniquely happy person who is naturally positive and full of energy. I have filled my normal days with family, work, and fun. The events of 2024 could have derailed my sense of self and all that I have built for myself and my family.  Here I will try to explain some of the biggest sources of stress, grief, and loss from the previous year and share some ways to process and overcome these challenges.

In November 2023, my mother moved from her home of over thirty years into an assisted living facility. A mixed blessing, as she needed the care, but upturning the household was devastating for both my parents. My father went into a rapid and unexpected steep decline leading to multiple hospitalizations and his passing in May 2024. My mother became largely unresponsive as Alzheimer’s disease progressed removing her ability to interact with the world. I traveled to Tampa at least once per month since that fateful Thanksgiving trip where we initiated moving my mom to visit, provide support, and take care of all practical matters with bills and their house.

During the spring and summer of 2024, my daughter, who attends a special needs school to teach life skills, got herself mixed up with an online groomer who is twice her age. She did not see this person for who they were. She fought through all means to maintain the connection for weeks despite the removal of her phone, computer, iPad, Apple Watch, Alexa-enabled speaker, and all other internet devices. I took several months to remove that negative connection (including many explosive moments that were not my best calm caring self) and convince her to move on. Luckily, this experience ended well with her finally moving on, and is now dating a nice man with similar needs.

In October, we were driving to Tampa in the aftermath of Hurricane Milton, which delayed our trip. In a cruel twist of fate, after driving for eleven hours, my mother passed when we were thirty minutes away. In that moment, the immense sense of loss, grief, and guilt for having missed her was truly overwhelming. A full year of worry and stress watching my parents decline and depart burst through leaving me sobbing. Losing both parents within six months. Wow. Deep breath.

Throughout this journey, my normal life of managing Align Health Coaching and supporting my family including my brother’s increasing needs continued unabated. Last year tested my capacity to handle stress. Let me share some of the ways to mitigate and process the stress, grief, and loss.

Pathway through the jungle

When facing an enormous seemingly unending mountain of stress, one can use a variety of methods for managing and mitigating stress. Here are some of the critical ways I managed through this journey.

On a larger fundamental level, having a defined routine helps guide you through the toughest days. When the world seems like too much, being able to rely on these built-in habits that are successful when things go well, was instrumental in my health. Maintaining a regular schedule that includes waking up at your usual time and getting to bed at a consistent hour affords you some basic stability.  I am grateful for all the items I maintained in my routine.  This gave me structure that I could do with my brain “turned off”.

Enjoying your hobbies. I have become an avid reader, over a hundred books in 2024, thanks eReader! Having a nice book to curl up with has been comforting. My husband plays disc golf and drums, one gets him out in the woods for a walk and the other feeds a lifelong love.

Consistent exercise. I go to the gym three times per week for a HIIT workout. For much of 2024, I added Pilates to the routine twice a week. I also find time to go for a walk every day, some are little fifteen minutes laps around the block between clients. Getting outside, feeling the sun, and seeing neighbors help relax and ground you.

Eating at normal hours and amounts. Stress wreaks havoc on your appetite. Starting with a healthy breakfast is crucial for the system’s balance throughout the day. Eating dinner with family each night helped connect all of us. Setting aside the time and energy to eat a quality homemade meal provides a positive routine and good nutrition. Also, if you need to talk, dinner provides a great forum to download at the end of a workday.

Meditation. Setting a stretch of the day for you to encourage your thoughts and feel your feelings can be incredibly helpful. With regular practice, meditation sessions can be your own personal therapy where you allow yourself the space and opportunity to understand and process all the stress and emotions flowing through you.

Community. Developing and fostering a positive support system was beneficial in so many ways. Having close friends you can call for a chat or invite over for dinner provides that regular outlet and positive energy. Participating in community activities and gatherings allows you to feel that connection to others. Being around happy people bringing positive energy to the world is always a blessing.

Moving forward

Hopefully, these techniques help you through your tough times.  Thank you for allowing me to be authentic and vulnerable and sharing with you. I also wanted to explain why I have paused my monthly newsletters and blog posts.  I am grateful to all those who  have reached out through Align Health Coaching. I look forward to meeting new people and continuing the connection to all those from my past.